I will always preach how you should not worry about what others think about you, or worry about being judged for clothing (or not clothing!) your body in a certain way, but I know in reality we don’t all feel that way. It takes time so whilst you go seek some inspiration and start to understand the things that will lead you to give Zero you-know-what’s, there’s one thing that I feel can help you on the way.
Ditch the Word Flattering
I can’t begin to start on how much I hate this word, mainly how it’s used to make us feel like we should wear clothes that flatter. Flatter our ‘bad bits’ or ‘good bits’ basically hide (if bad) or distract (with good) from the areas you don’t like, usually because society doesn’t like them.
Common phrases include:
- It’s really flattering around the bust==AKA it makes your boobs look banging/ hides the fact you even have breasts as that would be far too sexual
- It flatters your curves==hides the fact you’re fat or curvy if you’d prefer/ makes you look like you could give birth to the whole Kardashian/Jenner clan with dem hips!
- It flatters your arms==in all instances this means hides the top part of your arms. Why? Because they are wider/wrinklier/saggier than a six year olds. Rarely has a woman’s top or dress been made to flatter our biceps as that’s just not the right side of the sexist fence is it!? Urgh.
- It flatters your bum- gives you one to rival Kim K or J Lo -unless it was the 80’s in which case made it look smaller! I do wonder if people ever thought hearing yes to the question “Does my bum look big in this?” Would ever be a good thing!?
See? It makes us think we should flatter so as to be accepted by society. No thanks. It make us believe that we aren’t worthy and we should hide things that don’t meet these extravagant expectations.
It doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t wear clothes that you think look good on you and that you feel good in! But that hiding any flaws etc shouldn’t be the reason you feel good in them!
There are things that can help you start to cross over from the flattering way of dressing into just feeling good. Start to remember what you feel good in and why, what works for you? When are you most comfy? Most confident?
I love wearing one shoulder tops they are my jam, I’ll pick one over a strapless top everyday. I like how they show one collarbone and how long my neck looks with the detail around it! No lies-I hate how you still need to wear a strapless bra though.
I love bikinis. When I wear bikinis I won’t wear high waisted ones as I don’t like to cover my stomach up- but I will wear a deep sided bikini bottom as I like the way I can wear them that bit higher cut in the leg and make my legs look even longer, and they sit on the curve between my stomach and my legs. I hate feeling tie string sides digging into me so won’t wear those. Comfort is key for me to feel fab!
I don’t wear Body Con dresses they are just not me, as much as I love heels I’ve never been one for dressing up in skyscrapers and a tight dress for a night out. I prefer something floatier around my thighs mainly as I struggle to walk after a few proseccos so definitely don’t need my dress restricting me! I learnt this when I wore a maxi shirt dress recently and had to shuffle along to walk. Nah mate. Give me a nice skater or a-line and I will twirl and skip like I’m walking on a rainbow (don’t quote me I’m not a twirler let’s be honest).
Most of these photos involve me laughing my head off at some point as you can see, because in essence we should just be having fun, with others, on our own, not giving a damn about strangers opinions and dropping friends with negative ones that impact us. That’s the goal isn’t it!?